this one took me a few minutes

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seems simple enough, right? au contrare; logistically speaking, it's quite complicated--i mean, put yourself in this guy's place for a minute:

1. first, you've committed yourself to showing up naked outdoors [on second thought, not a huge problem, especially in that neighborhood--on to no. 2];

2. "ddf" (drug/disease free)? yeah, because anyone willing to piss on and then jerk off all over you in his own driveway at three in the morning could not possibly be of the risk-taking, disease-susceptible, drug-imbibing temperament you obviously find so distasteful, so you're probably safe there.

3. after being showered with piss and cum (but more likely just piss) in some strange backyard or driveway by some guy who'll zip up and turn his back on you the instant said events have played themselves out, you find yourself on your own, naked and dripping--so, now what? because you gotta get home somehow, and it's not bloody likely your host is gonna invite you in for a quick rinse-off and towel-dry; best you might could hope for is a cold squirt with a garden hose (and trust me, it was damn cold in los angeles at three this morning, so i don't even wanna think about that)--and that's only if you're lucky and there actually is a hose and/or someone who's willing to turn it on you--the questions i ultimately ended up asking outta this situation are

4. how do you keep the piss outta the car you have to drive home and then drive every day, and

5. if this is what it takes to move your needle at 31, what are you saving for 50?

and after working on these questions for awhile, i couldn't come up with a definitive answer--lots of moist towelettes? raincoat? hose-off interior? hose-off psyche? i dunno.

so i asked him. haven't heard back yet, but soon as i do (and i'm sure i will) i'll let you know.