yeah, so i've got ADD--eat me, you smug, skinny little bastard

.

so the other day i storm into the apple store in a righteous froth of indignation--my new toy's giving me less than half the battery life they promised and i wanna know why, goddammit.

genius:  have you changed your "energy saver" settings?

mkf:  no.

genius:  you're keeping the screen at no more than 3/4 brightness when you're on battery?

mkf, scornfully: yes.

genius:  you turn bluetooth off when you're not using it?

mkf:  of course.

genius:  are you watching movies at full volume, running multiple programs or doing anything else that requires a lot of processing power?

mkf: nah, i'm just surfing the web.  i'm tellin ya--there's something wrong with this thing, and i want a new one.

he turns the machine toward him, flips it open, pushes a button, snorts, pokes the genius next to him, says, "get this--guy's got 17 windows open and he's wondering why his battery's dying."

oh.