yeah, 40

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tell you the truth, i'm sitting here stunned that the bankers allowed this milestone to be reached so easily.  usually there's tons of back-and-forth drama as silver approaches a new high--and at least one good dr. evil-style raid--but not this time.  this time, silver breezed its way to the $40 finish line with barely a pause for breath.

maybe it's finally beyond their ability to stop now.

will it hold?  who knows--i expect they'll try and smash it back down a few bucks over the next few trading sessions by flooding the market with naked shorts like they always do, but the trend is unmistakable now, and the bankers know it, and they're scared.

why do the bankers care about the price of precious metals, and why should you?  simply because, as a smarter man than me recently put it, gold and silver are the barometer of governmental and institutional profligacy and corruption--they always have been, and they always will be.  their skyrocketing prices are a rebuke to the whole sorry system--like holding a mirror up to its ugly face, for all the world to see.

[update:  i forgot to mention the other reason the bankers are scared--namely, that they're sitting on god knows how many over-leveraged contracts to deliver at prices they in their arrogant stupidity thought were safely out of reach, so they never bothered to, you know, actually buy the physical metal to back 'em up.  awkward, wouldn't you say?]

so is it onward and upward to $50 now?  well, here's where it gets interesting.  our financial savior, mr. bernanke, is finally approaching the crossroads i've been predicting for nearly two years now, and, depending on what he does when this latest round of quantitative easing ends as scheduled in june, precious metals will either really take off, or they'll sharply correct.

see, he's faced with one hell of a dilemma, is our fed chairman.  all this new money he's pumped into the system over these last couple years and swore he was in control of has--surprise!--caused a commodity-price explosion that's wreaking havoc and toppling governments worldwide.  problem is, if , as promised, he ends QE in order to curb the inflation, our vaunted "economic recovery" that's been running on nothing but this fed-provided life support will promptly collapse, taking with it not only precious metals (temporarily, anyway), but the stock market, job creation, what's left of the housing market and whatever shreds of hope barack obama might still have of re-election.

if instead, he continues as he has been and opts for another round of monetization?  well, the stock market will rally another 1,000 points and our imaginary recovery will continue to wheeze along for an unspecified period of borrowed time.  oh, and inflation will move into double digits, oil will go to $200, gold and silver will go to the moon, and food prices will continue to climb, sparking further rioting and revolutions abroad.

so, what's it gonna be, benny--QE 3 or no QE 3?  the world hangs breathless on its fate.

a totally unauthorized post

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welcome to the world, little ciro--and tell your uncle v not to be mad at my drunk ass for posting your first picture which i can't tear my eyes away from, ok?

because my life was so much simpler when i was sober and queer

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and because seeing laura this past weekend resurrected dormant memories of this talented little trio from my college days in austin.

and finally, because i just realized there's a whole new generation of lesbians out there who have probably never heard this song, and that is a wrong that must be righted immediately goddammit.





experience the genius of two nice girls for yourself and then pass 'em on to your favorite dyke, ok?

the chinchilla dilemma

Somebody who thinks I'm smart asked me to put the budget squabble currently taking place in Congress into some sorta perspective they could actually understand, and after a couple cocktails I decided why not reduce the United States and all its financial issues to something relatable to the common man--like, say, a married couple living in Toledo.  Makes sense, right?


Trust me, it will next time you're drunk; in the meantime, go with it.



Even though Joe and Ethel have been hit hard by the recession, they still spend as irresponsibly as ever and their expenses keep going up.  Everybody knows at least one couple like this, right?

Joe and Ethel have it down to a fine art, though--even though their combined annual income is only around $21,000, they'll spend over $38,000 this year, meaning a shortfall of at least $17,000 that's gonna have to come from somewhere.

And it's not like this is the first year this has happened, either; in fact, Joe and Ethel have been living beyond their means for at least ten years, racking up over $150,000 on their credit cards, with no clear means of paying it back.

You might think with all that money Joe and Ethel are living high on the hog, but you'd be wrong.  Even as our couple's spending has exponentially increased, their once-spiffy little bungalow has deteriorated noticeably--the plumbing's shot, the roof is sagging, the retaining walls are showing cracks and the driveway needs repaving--all told, probably $15-20,000 worth of work, easy.  But none of that's even on the budget radar, because Joe and Ethel have other priorities.

See, I forget to mention that our heroes have a couple hobbies:  Joe's a gun nut, and Ethel raises, oh i dunno, chinchillas.  And these two all-consuming pasttimes pretty much manage to suck up all of Joe and Ethel's money.  How could that be, you ask?  Well, allow me to explain.

Joe's not just any gun nut--no, sir.  Not content merely to defend his own backyard, Joe's decided it's his mission in life to remake all of Toledo in his own image, and to that end he's committed himself to not only arming half his neighbors, but injecting himself into their squabbles as well, both now and future.

But as expensive as Joe's little gun hobby has become, it pales in comparison to the mess Ethel's got herself in.  Seems that since PETA killed the fur business, nobody wants her chinchillas--and, chinchillas being chinchillas, they just keep multiplying and multiplying and multiplying their little high-maintenance asses off to the point that their upkeep is driving our couple to insolvency.

Every year, Joe and Ethel sit down at the kitchen table to hash out their budget, but this year it's especially tense, because they both know things are spiraling outta control.

"You spent $6,700 on guns last year, Joe--that has to stop!" Ethel says with some asperity.

To which Joe replies, "That's nothing--hell, you dropped almost $15 grand for food and shelter and vet bills and medicine for the goddam chinchillas, and every year they get older and fatter and unhealthier and there's more of 'em!  How many more years can we keep this up?"

Of course this last question is merely rhetorical, since Joe knows as well as Ethel that by now they're far outnumbered by the chinchillas, and denying them their due at this point would be fatal.

The back-and-forth continues for awhile like it does every year, each party playing their familiar part, until finally they get down to those areas on which they're actually willing to compromise.

Finally and after much drama, Joe reluctantly agrees to give up his Netflix, Ethel her Starbucks.  And thus, $330 saved, they shake hands and declare victory--another budget in the can.

And yeah, you read right--outta $17,000 owing this year and $150,000 owed in total, the best Joe and Ethel between 'em can come up with in the way of spending cuts is three hundred and thirty lousy bucks.

All I can say is, thank god Joe and Ethel aren't smart enough to project 20 or so years into their future, because they don't even wanna know how many unfunded chinchillas that's gonna add up to.

And after reading this and shaking your head over the sheer magnitude of Joe and Ethel's delusional denial, take a minute to multiply each and every one of the above dollar figures by 100 million, and that's where we find ourselves today.

And by "we",  of course i mean you.

malibu

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yet one more in an endless series of weekend party houses, with the difference that for the first time in years, mkf made an appearance.

it was good to connect with the old gang again [note to noblesavage:  stories to come].