Saturday, March 15, 2008

tomayto, tomahto

mkf (1:25:43 AM): so tonight i'm in bed with this guy for the second time
mkf (1:25:57 AM): i call out "eduardo" in a moment of passion
t__v__ (1:25:59 AM): ?
mkf (1:26:07 AM): unfortunately his name is "ernesto"
mkf (1:26:22 AM): i mean, c'mon, hispanic, three syllables, starts with "e", ends with "o"
mkf (1:26:28 AM): fuck, sue me
t__v__ (1:26:30 AM): lol
mkf (1:26:32 AM): so then he starts to get pissed and i start to go limp then we both realize where this is headed and he backs off and i firm up again and disaster is narrowly averted
t__v__ (1:27:00 AM): don't you ever sleep with white guys?
mkf (1:27:13 AM): only if they're young and juicy
mkf (1:27:44 AM): if they're older? nah--for my money, one of those in any bed i'm in is more than enough

Thursday, March 13, 2008

uh oh

both fox news and abc have bought the rights to a number of speeches and sermons by the rev. jeremiah wright--you know, barack's billy graham, and the guy whose seeming devotion to louis farrakhan had gotten my attention awhile back.

well, turns out i was worried with good reason--i got to hear a little of the good reverend's rhetoric earlier this afternoon and let me tell you, he's scary as hell. about three minutes was all i either needed to hear or could take, and the thought of enduring one of his sermons is inconceivable. and tell you the truth, i have to wonder about anyone who could not only sit through seventeen years of them but embrace their author to the degree to which obama has--and what effect a long-term steady diet of such virulently anti-white rhetoric has had on his world view.

i'm tellin you folks, these sound bites are gonna hit white middle-america like a ton of bricks--i can't believe hillary hasn't gotten this stuff out there before now, because rev. jeremiah wright makes willie horton look like small potatoes.

this whole geraldine ferraro thing

maybe it's just me, but i really don't get it. actually, that's a lie--i get it all too well.

when ms. ferraro made her now-infamous comments about mr. obama winning black, my reaction was as follows: "hmm, let's look at this--on the one hand, his resume is ultra-light and his accomplishments are few, and does anyone really believe he'd be getting this level of support from black voters if he were a white man? but on the other, he's young, tall, whip-smart, good-looking, charismatic and a smooth talker--he's got that whole bobby-kennedy thing going and americans eat that shit up so his race may not be as big a factor as she'd like us to believe."

in other words, instead of getting all bent, i evaluated her words as i believe they were intended: as a sour-grapes discussion of a key element in another candidate's make-up as a way of explaining why her candidate was losing--i mean, we've seen shit like this a thousand times.

only this time it was different, because she dared bring up the elephant in the room that nobody's allowed to talk about.

and this just pisses me off, because, look--obama's race is just as big a factor in this race as is hillary's sex, or mccain's age, or romney's religion; difference is, we're allowed to discuss those things, but what we've learned once again these last few days is that anybody (well, anybody white) who touches the third rail in even the most innocuous way is gonna be labeled a racist.

so yeah, she's right: in a way, obama is lucky he's black; he gets to enjoy all of the benefits this factor confers upon his candidacy, and play upon it when it suits him--and then turn around and slam anyone else who dares remark upon it.

what utter bullshit.

[oh, and geraldine: don't let the bastards get you down]

why i write this blog

[this, btw, is a completely spontaneous, unplanned post, brought on by a conversation i just had, and the lubrication of inhibitions that a little alcohol in conjunction with some music from the time when i was last happy blessedly brings (not that i'm especially drunk this evening, nor do i intend to become so, but i'm just sayin).]

i am by any objective measure smarter than most people, and--even with the mental deterioration i'm increasingly certain has set in within the last few years--odds are i'm smarter than you.

and while i have since i was first tested in adolescence taken a certain unearned pride in the foregoing, problem is--well, there are several problems, actually: (1) i didn't come from an environment that valued excellence of any sort; (2) i never had an involved, adult male role model (and god knows we all know how fucking important that is); (3) i was one of those kids who could (and often did) skip two or three school-days outta every five and still make great grades, so i learned to coast early; and (4) i'm not sufficiently strong-willed to be a self-starter--to accomplish anything of substance, i require the motivation of someone who vibrates at a higher frequency than do i, and such people haven't exactly thrown themselves at me in the course of my life.

the result? i'm a consummate path-of-least-resistance guy--when the intellectual going gets tough, i tend to walk. soon as something becomes hard, i say fuck it and go do something simple.

and even though in spite of myself i've achieved some success, i truly wish things hadn't come so easy to me early in life, or that i'd had somebody to push me--i'd take either one.

but, that not being the case, i'm now writing--and not only writing, but publishing said writing in a publicly-accessible forum.

and understand: it's not that (a) i think i'm a good writer, because god knows i'm not (and trust me, i know what good writing--even good blog-writing--is); or (b) i'm trying to find an audience for my penetrating insights, because i have no illusions or desire that'll ever happen, nor am i even bothering to go about the conventional-blogosphere ways of seeking same.

i don't care about any of that shit. i'm doing this, quite simply, because i'm determined to make this--writing, i mean--the first intellectually-challenging thing from which i've never turned and walked away once the novelty wore off and it became hard.

sober update: since i wasn't particularly drunk when this was written, it only gets, like, a 6 on the maudlin scale--i'll try to do better next time.

the mccain problem, part 3b--the angry man

[continued from part "a"]

ok here's the deal--even with an abundance of juicy tidbits on the national political plate this week (i.e., spitzer and ferraro, to name just a couple) crying out for commentary, i haven't posted a fucking thing since that lame-ass cat post on, what was it, monday? yeah, monday (i mean, it may say "tuesday", but that's only because the tuesday in this case happened merely to be a drunkenly drawn-out continuation of monday, so technically it really was monday).

and would you like to know why i have this week so flagrantly and egregiously broken my pledge to post something--anything--every single day? well, i'll be happy to tell you why: it's all john mccain's fault.

see, i've been putting off finishing up "the mccain problem, part 3b" because, frankly, i'm over it--i'm sick of thinking about mccain right now--but i had committed to a certain course, and i felt that i simply could not yet again promise and not deliver as regards mccain (thank you, rob); therefore, by that logic i had to finish this post before i could move onto anything else. but the bottom line is, i just flat fucking didn't wanna--so effectively, john mccain had become the liver i must eat before i could have dessert. and, true to my nature--and not only to my detriment but that of my eleven readers--i've been putting off eating my liver all week.

well, enough already--i'm hungry for dessert so let's choke this down and get on with it (and i think i'll wait for awhile before continuing "the mccain problem" series, although god knows there are several more parts).

* * * * *

Briefly [and just in case you didn't get it from the last mccain post, the new guttermorality convention is to properly upper-case when going for credibility and/or incorporating big chunks of upper-cased material from other sources--happy now, scott?], here's the the thing: Seeing as how John McCain's entire political (and hell, overall) identity is all wrapped up in his "war hero" image, you'd think that the upper echelons of the military establishment would be cheering his candidacy, right?

Well, you'd be wrong, because--having in most cases achieved their respective exalted rank by dint of, among other things, the prodigious development and exercise of calm, cool, discipined-under-pressure judgment, these people above all others know the importance of this quality in a leader--and they just don't see it in our boy. Salon ran a rather interesting article recently, a few excerpts from which illustrate this point:

It is not difficult in Washington to find high-level military officials who have had close encounters with John McCain's temper, and who find it worrisome. Politicians sometimes scream for effect, but the concern is that McCain has, at times, come across as out of control. It is difficult to find current or former officers willing to describe those encounters in detail on the record. That's because, by and large, those officers admire McCain. But that doesn't mean they want his finger on the proverbial button, and they are supporting Clinton or Obama instead.

"I like McCain. I respect McCain. But I am a little worried by his knee-jerk response factor," said retired Maj. Gen. Paul Eaton, who was in charge of training the Iraqi military from 2003 to 2004 and is now campaigning for Clinton. "I think it is a little scary. I think this guy's first reactions are not necessarily the best reactions. I believe that he acts on impulse."

"I studied leadership for a long time during 32 years in the military," said retired Air Force Maj. Gen. Scott Gration, a one-time Republican who is supporting Obama. "It is all about character. Who can motivate willing followers? Who has the vision? Who can inspire people?" Gration asked. "I have tremendous respect for John McCain, but I would not follow him."

"One of the things the senior military would like to see when they go visit the president is a kind of consistency, a kind of reliability," explained retired Gen. Merrill McPeak, a former Republican, former chief of staff of the Air Force and former fighter pilot who flew 285 combat missions. McPeak said his perception is that Obama is "not that up when he is up and not that down when he is down. He is kind of a steady Eddie. This is a very important feature," McPeak said. On the other hand, he said, "McCain has got a reputation for being a little volatile." McPeak is campaigning for Obama.

Retired Rear Adm. John Hutson, who has been a Republican his entire adult life, but who now supports Obama, put it this way about facing a national security crisis: "When everybody else goes nuts, the president of the United States needs to get cooler and cooler."
And you know what? I believe these guys; what they're saying jibes completely with what I've observed about McCain. This is a man who absolutely cannot abide his will being challenged in any way, and who, if he thinks he can get away with it, allows himself to go into complete knee-jerk childish-temper-tantrum mode at the first sign of such an occurrence.

For instance, watching one of the recent debates, I vividly remember his reaction to a question about his massively-unpopular illegal-alien-amnesty bill of last year--you know, the one which he supposedly repudiated this year in order to become president. When asked if he would sign it in its present form if it came across his desk as president, his jaw clenched, his body tensed and he started to redden--I mean, you could fuckin tell how much effort it took him to restrain himself from screaming at this impudent questioner of his wisdom--but in the end he could not come out and say "no, i might've misjudged that one" [and this, of course, is where I was throwing things at the tv and screaming at Romney to sieze the moment, jump in and push a few buttons, trigger an eruption for America, but, alas, no--which is one more reason that sorry bastard'll be but a footnote to history--but, i digress].

* * * * *

Look, people (and understand, I'm talking to those who are still pro-McCain): Despite what Hillary might say, seriously--is this the guy you want answering the red phone at 3 a.m.?

And if the answer is still "maybe", then (a) remember the point I made previously: if this is the way he acts now, can you even imagine the license he will allow his temper if he becomes the leader of the free world and thus fears rebuke from no one; and (b) make sure to check in for future installments in this series--including "part 4--the genius", "part 5--ethics reform, my ass", and, last but not least, "part 6--one scary trigger-happy motherfucker" (and hell, depending on my mood there may even be "part 7--do we really want cruella de vil as first lady?").

and now, having paid my dues for the moment, on to more fun stuff.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

a cat story

.
mkf (2:14:24 AM): i've had drama with the cat today
mkf (2:14:28 AM): and i'm exhausted
mkf (2:14:32 AM): hell, we both are
b___ (2:14:55 AM): what happened ?
mkf (2:15:05 AM): oh, it was ridiculous.
mkf (2:15:11 AM): i ran outta her regular food on saturday morning
mkf (2:15:28 AM): so saturday night on the way home i stopped at ralphs instead of pavilions and it's the little one in beverly hills so they didn't stock her brand so i bought her--well, it LOOKED the same, anyway--shaped like little stars
mkf (2:15:44 AM): i was hoping it was an acceptable knock-off
mkf (2:15:47 AM): but nooooooo
mkf (2:15:50 AM): she would not have it
b___ (2:16:08 AM): ROFL
mkf (2:16:12 AM): and then
mkf (2:16:29 AM): on sunday, i went to work and forgot to pick up some of the regular stuff on the way home
mkf (2:17:00 AM): and understand, it's not like it's special food--it's just regular old purina cat chow--throw a handful in the bowl and you're done, what's the difference
mkf (2:17:22 AM): so anyway i come home last night empty-handed and she's like, so where's my fuckin food?
b___ (2:17:28 AM): ROFL ROFL
b___ (2:17:30 AM): that's so sad !
b___ (2:17:34 AM): starving your pet like that !
mkf (2:17:40 AM): and i'm like, you HAVE food--eat it
mkf (2:18:04 AM): she gives me this look then turns and walks away, tail limp instead of with its usual snap
mkf (2:18:38 AM): this of course pierces me to the core, but hell, it's late and i've just had the weekend from hell and i'm tired and there is no store for miles and did i mention she fuckin HAS food, she just doesn't wanna eat it
mkf (2:19:03 AM): so i went to bed anyway, but of course had troubled dreams
mkf (2:19:23 AM): and when i awoke, first thign i see when i open my eyes, she's sitting there on the nightstand, staring at me
b___ (2:19:32 AM): ok, that's scary
mkf (2:19:33 AM): see, that's the thing with this cat
mkf (2:19:36 AM): she never meows
mkf (2:20:05 AM): i mean, don't get me wrong, it's not like she's mute--she'll make little chuffing noises when she comes in or i come home--like little greetings--and once in a blue moon she'll mew--usually if she's been in a fight and she's stiff and i pick her up wrong--but for the most part she communicates with stares and purrs and subtle body language
mkf (2:20:32 AM): so when she wants something she doesn't make a sound--she just makes sure that wherever i look she's there, black as night, staring at me with unblinking eyes, judging me, finding me wanting--it's fuckin unnerving, like the telltale heart but with no noise
b___ (2:19:46 AM): ....
mkf (2:20:52 AM): well, i'm sorry to say it became a battle of wills.
b___ (2:21:18 AM): what??
mkf (2:21:19 AM): i mean, i paid SIX GODDAM DOLLARS for that sack of cat food
b___ (2:21:19 AM): good grief
mkf (2:21:28 AM): and she was damn well gonna eat it
mkf (2:21:35 AM): but no.
mkf (2:21:45 AM): she lasted all day
mkf (2:22:39 AM): and she'd do this thing--whenever i was in the kitchen she'd make this big show of walking over to the bowl, leaning down as if to eat, and i'd be like, HA, i KNEW YOU'D CRACK FIRST!
mkf (2:23:12 AM): and then, at the last possible second, she'd lift her head with this little sneer, turn her back and walk away from the bowl, deliberately not looking at me
b___ (2:23:24 AM): ROFL ROFL
b___ (2:23:26 AM): that's so sad
b___ (2:23:33 AM): she must have been so hungry !!!
mkf (2:24:22 AM): well, by ten oclock tonight--remember, she hadn't eaten since saturday morning (unless she has some secret stash somewhere, which i wouldn't put past her)--i finally give in and drive over the hill to the goddam store and get her some some of her precious fucking purina goddam cat chow, but then i think, ok fine--this other food is NOT gonna go to waste--i'll mix the two together
mkf (2:24:44 AM): i will allow you to imagine what happened next
b___ (2:25:17 AM): ROFL ROFL
b___ (2:25:21 AM): rejected again ?
mkf (2:25:26 AM): she runs over eagerly, bends down, sniffs--and then looks up at me with this "are you KIDDING me with this shit" expression, and refuses to eat
b___ (2:25:32 AM): ROFL ROLF
b___ (2:25:35 AM): too good
mkf (2:25:41 AM): so i capitulated, utterly and completely
mkf (2:25:57 AM): dumped the bowl out, and filled it with puro purina
mkf (2:26:35 AM): after a properly reproachful interval, she ate it, and then when she was finished crawled up on my shoulder and purred
b___ (2:26:44 AM): awww
b___ (2:26:45 AM): that's so cute !
mkf (2:26:46 AM): benevolent in victory, as always
b___ (2:26:47 AM): i love your cat !
mkf (2:26:56 AM): yeah, but she'd hate you
mkf (2:27:03 AM): as she apparently does all living creatures but me
mkf (2:27:09 AM): and sometimes i'm not so sure about me
b___ (2:27:34 AM): ROFL
b___ (2:27:36 AM): that's so beautiful
mkf (2:28:00 AM): she's evil
mkf (2:28:33 AM): but of course she's a product of her upbringing, so i'm kinda like lynne spears complaining about britney, you know?

Monday, March 10, 2008

the bad news is...

i was unable to finish "the angry man" as promised, due to a weekend from hell.

the good news is: considering the volume of readership around here, i only disappointed, like, eleven people.

tonight, for sure.

UPDATE: i am a goddam fucking liar (like, considering the name of this blog, this should come as a surprise to anybody)