the soda incident

so the other day i slide into my cubicle and open outlook to find a firmwide email from the managing partner describing in great detail the actions of an anonymous malefactor who lurks among us.

seems late the night before, some sociopath had stolen into the downstairs kitchen, removed a can of soda from the fridge and released its compressed, carbonated contents in such a way as to liberally spatter with same the walls, ceiling and most every other surface therein--and then, no doubt cackling evilly, blithely exited stage left without so much as a call to service, much less any attempt to clean it up.

i ponder this email and its implications--you know, a firm awash in suspicion, fingers of silent accusation pointing everywhere, an increasingly corrosive atmosphere of mutual mistrust in which morale plummets, performance suffers, clients leave in droves and, ultimately, bankruptcy--and know that someone will have to fall on the sword for the good of all.

with this in mind, i sigh, hit "reply".

i wasn't fired, but i probably shoulda been--not so much for the incident as for the egregious pleonasm resulting therefrom.

"guilty culprit"--seriously, mkf?