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so this year, i entered the firm's "describe your most memorable holiday" essay contest. out of ten entrants i came in fourth, behind two secretaries and a word processor.
it's true--blogging success is transferable to real life.
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3 comments:
this firm that you speak of is so mutherfuckin 3rd grade, the kid in the wheelchair and the coke bottle glasses girl beat me out for best personality..... see where I am going with this, what needs to happen here is an airing of the grievances at the company Christmas party, cause they didn't go with most deserving, I am assuming there is a prize involved and they chose a lower paid employee for the award as a way of showing the lowest 1/10th of the 1% (you've moved up from the practical joke playing type in the copy room right?) that they are appreciated and as a result MKF takes one for the team.[of course as you consider this advice you should know that I am a little drunk, so there's that]
topher: i only wish it had been that way. truth was, the entries were anonymous, but they were judged by the sorta people who are more easily swayed by sentimentality than by the sorta shit i write (i.e., most of humanity). next year, i'll make sure to throw in some kittens.
It's Christmas. You talk about how you were able to see your grandmother one last time before she died and give her a big hug and a kiss and as you cried together, you were just so overcome with happiness.
And then everyone had ham and that green been salad with the dried onions on it.
Schmaltz sells.
The Guttermorality story should go something like this:
I called Tiny Tim at the orphanage on Christmas, as he was just sweeping the floors and getting ready to go out and pandhandle and asked him to come over to my house. He said "sure" and we then had great sex for the rest of the evening as Christmas songs played in the background and then we had sex again. Then I didn't call him for two weeks and when I did, he had moved to a different orphanage and I lost track of him.
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