but i can't

.
[inspired by tonight's tour of the gay blogsosphere--but it coulda been most any night, really]

as my long-time readers know, i spent the first 34 years of my life swimming against the stream, wishing i'd been born straight.

and then, once i finally not only reconciled myself to the fact that i was dyed-in-the-wool queer but even began to revel in the idea, i found myself in the ensuing years swimming against a different stream--namely, wishing i'd been born liberal.

because, either/or--born straight or liberal--god knows i woulda fit into my milieu, felt i belonged in my surroundings and slept so much easier all these years.

seriously, i can't tell you how much easier my gay life would be if i could just find some way to drink the kool-aid and accept without question the indisputable gospel that

(a) conservatives are by definition extremist anti-american assholes;

(b) anybody who opposes any gay-related issue for any reason is automatically a hater and a homophobe (whatever the fuck that even means);

(c) anybody who calls themselves christian is by definition a malicious, cretinous idiot beneath even discussion; and, finally

(d) liberals are in some intrinsic way more caring--and thus more noble--than everybody else.

god, sometimes i really wish i could.