[who pointed out in the comments section of my last post that scott over at billinexile greeted my most recent, impassioned drunken rant in his direction with beyond-indifference.]
story of my life, anonymous: they never love me back.
my drunken comments always seemed to rub scott the wrong way. of course as soon as i realized that--me being me and all--i started to push the envelope, and it just went downhill from there.
see, most of his dickless, suck-ass commenters curry his favor and/or fear his wrath--to me, provoking scott was always the goal, and when successful, was almost as entertaining as watching yosemite sam jump up and down and yell at bugs bunny when i was a kid.
problem is, he's gotten wise and doesn't rise to my bait anymore.
there was a time when billinexile was one of the very best blogs out there--i mean, the back-and-forth between scott and his sociopathic friend bill would just fuckin' take your breath away with its casual, offhand eloquence.
but that was then.
these days you click over there you're mostly gonna get degradation porn, dance music from a bygone era or tired, sore-winner "democrats good, republicans bad" diatribes.
but every once in awhile he'll unexpectedly and effortlessly unfurl one of his trademarked posts that'll make you sit back and say, "damn, i wish i'd written that."
and that, anonymous, is why--even though i'm spurned and unappreciated in billinexileland--i still go back to that particular well over and over again.
4 comments:
I can certainly understand the idea of love me or hate, just pay attention to me.
At the same time, well, forgive me, but I just do not understand why you still continue to go to the well. I mean, you are not in fourth grade where you have to make the best of being of seated next to Jim Doyle all year long (it made for a very long year).
You can just stop going to his blog. If he wants to post to yours, well then, you can deal with that. But it is not like you are ever going to need him to co-sign a loan or something. Why do you keep going back and expending energy? It's not like you are friends and you are trying to save a friendship.
BTW, I posted a reply to your conservative message as well.
noblesavage: honey, you're asking me to explain why i do the things i do when i'm drunk. trust me, i come back later, read this shit and cringe just like the rest of you.
Hmmm...So why do you do such crazy things drunk?
I had a friend a long time ago, Trent, that was always most truthful with alcohol in his system.
Perhaps it is similar here: you can only really be yourself -- or what you think of as yourself -- when you have your inhibitions lowered.
Guttermorality readers should take my word for it that you have a ton of inhibitions.
Inhibitions are just another way of saying you are second guessing yourself and not comfortable with who you are. At least, so I say. But, I've usually had the opposite problem: few inhibitions (like me) is not necessarily a good model.
noblesavage: well, that's a nice thought--the drunken mkf is the real mkf. thanks for that.
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