meanwhile, back here at home

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good ol' fed chairman ben bernanke testified in front of congress today, covering his usual prepared talking points with dull, monotonous precision--goddamn, the man is boring.

but then during the q&a afterwards, he said two things, one right after the other, that made me sit up and pay more than my usual half-assed attention; they were as follows:

Either cuts in spending or increases in taxes will be necessary to stabilize the fiscal situation. The Federal Reserve will not monetize the debt

let's take these two statements in reverse order, shall we? first,

The Federal Reserve will not monetize the debt.

this was the one that made me burst out laughing (much like the chinese did when geithner said the same thing to them yesterday), because it is so obviously a bald-faced lie--i mean, the fed has been churning out new money to buy up the u.s. treasury bonds nobody else wants as fast as its little printing presses can go, so what the fuck's he talking about?

and then i thought about it a minute and realized what he was really saying: "the federal reserve is growing weary of monetizing the debt, and will not do so much longer." which suddenly put a new light on things.

see, here's what most people don't realize: far from being under our thumb, the federal reserve is a privately-held corporation which loans our money to us at interest, and whose shares are owned by banks around the world--while its chairman may be appointed by the president, the fed itself is no more "federal" than is federal express, and they can basically say 'fuck you' to us whenever they want.

and these bankers, who have had such a sweet free ride at our expense since the fed's inception in 1913, are obviously tired of doing all this recent and unaccustomed heavy lifting, and they're starting to get scared.

but wait a minute--if the chinese don't wanna buy our debt anymore and now that bastion of last resort, the fed, is balking, then what the fuck are we gonna do?

well, that leads us back to the first part of ben's statement:

Either cuts in spending or increases in taxes will be necessary to stabilize the fiscal situation.

and which do you think it's gonna be, folks? you really think Hopey McChange is gonna cut back on his plans to fix everything and save us all? and, second question: you really think there are enough rich people left in america to pay for all his grand ambitions?

the answer to both questions is, of course, no--which is why they're sending ben out to soften us up for the inevitable value-added tax (i.e., national sales tax) that's now being not-so-surreptitiously debated on capitol hill.

imagine for a minute, folks, that on top of the local, county, state and federal taxes you already pay, another 10% (or hell, maybe more) surcharge added onto all your purchases.

that's right, all you credulous middle- and working-class voters who believed him when he said he'd only go after the rich and leave you alone--lay back, lube up, spread your legs and get ready, because it's coming.

and remember, you heard it from ben first.