91 words exactly, bitches

so, as a way to put off doing my first assignmentget into the spirit of things, i tonight composed and submitted an entry to a writing competition offered by my writing workshop.  the challenge:  tell a previously-unpublished story of one's life in 91 words or less (the "91", in case you're wondering, being the number of years some lady who was apparently important to this organization and in whose honor the competition is being offered managed to put in before recently shuffling off this mortal coil).

it was tough, but i enjoyed this exercise in enforced minimalism--enjoyed it, that is, until i realized that the contest entry window counts hyphenated words differently than does my word processing software, and i'd have to pare my perfect entry down by three more, godfuckingdammit.  but i did it.

i can't believe i've never told this story here, because it sums me up so goddamned perfectly, but whatever.

The Spiderweb Story 

Upon moving to LA, a new friend took me hiking in Griffith Park. As we crested a hill, we were frozen in our tracks by the spectacle of a spiderweb stretched between two trees--size of a bedsheet, rippling slightly in the breeze, every gossamer spoke limned in golden fire by the setting sun. 

When I cut him off in mid-gasp by reflexively pointing out a dime-sized hole in the upper-right corner, he looked at me, said, “Oh god, you’re one of those.”  

Yeah, I’m one of those.

in retrospect, i really wish i'd titled it as i did this post, but that's probably just the booze talking.