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it happened again today, only this time at work--guy grabs my ipod off my desk (because i'd forgotten to hide it), scrolls through my songs as i inwardly cringe, awaiting the inevitable; finally looks up at me incredulously and says, "where the hell do you even find this shit?"
this would be the point at which i'd usually make some lame apologetic excuse for my idiosyncratic tastes like i've been doing all my life.
but not today.
today, hungover and ornery, i snatch the ipod outta his hand and snarl, "each and every one of those songs is there for a reason, and they're reasons you wouldn't understand if you lived a thousand goddam years. now get outta here and let me get some work done."
surprised, he retreats--and i have my next blogpost.
because you know what? i've pretty much had it with people who mindlessly slam the musical tastes of other people without having the slightest clue as to what they're talking about.
what none of 'em realize (and what you probably don't realize either) is that music is as much a drug in its own way as is alcohol or pot or meth or crack: to the degree a particular combination of sounds hits your endorphin receptors just right, you like it; to the degree it doesn't, you don't--it's that fucking simple.
and it's pretty much non-negotiable--i mean, you can try, for the sake of your standing amongst your peers, to get into whatever music they're into, but the bottom line is, you like what you like, and that's pretty much it.
[case in point: i can't even begin to tell you how much more easily the first 17 years of my life woulda gone had i been able to get excited about hard rock--or for the last 17, techno house music--but that's another post for another day.]
i realized this eternal truth about music early on--back when i was a lonely kid in high school, i spent countless hours locked up alone in my room, headphones on, chain-smoking and transported to another world by the music that moved me then. different songs, individually or in combination, would bring on different moods; more often than not i'd get caught up in one particular song and listen to it over and over and over.
these two drugs--nicotine and music--became linked so strongly in my psyche that when i finally quit smoking fifteen years ago, i found i had no choice but to quit music as well--and i mean all music.
why? because as soon as a song came up that i liked, i'd reflexively reach for a cigarette to enhance the high, just like i'd always done in the past.
it took me eight long years to break that trigger and actually be able to listen to music again without feeling the irresistible urge to reach for that other drug.
alcohol helped.
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9 comments:
I can;t begin to imagine!
As you may have figured out, I'm deeply into opera and classical. I realize that this is about the ultimate niche musical taste for the U.S. of A. and I don't impose it on other people. When I was painting my scenery in the set shop and nobody was around, it was Wagner or a three hour Russian opera full blast. With others around it would be decent jazz or something else.
Friends are always saying "but you can train fritz to like opera!" Ain't gonna happen and I don't need that kind of enforced validation, not that I would ever try to "train" anybody. Musical taste is indeed unique and I was always somewhat offended when people who entered my sapce when opera was on would immediately start yodeling or whatever in parody of what they thought opera was.
Much of what I listen to has heavy associations for me, too, locked in my room like you, in retreat from a terminally alcoholic mother and a sometimes kind, sometimes brutal father, all cooped up in a 4 room apartment in East Siberia, Queens, NY.
will: i had a feeling you'd relate to this post.
OK, but where's the passion of what you actually do like?
You have shared (in some of your finer) postings about your very idiosyncratic taste in music. It includes a passion, as best I can tell, for the Righteous Brothers and a disdain for Billy Joel.
Now, the fact that you would snap at someone...well, what the hell is that about? Didn't appear warranted if you ask me. We all have musical tastes and I am perfectly comfortable with mine and certainly willing to defend mine -- or at the very least explain mine to someone who appears curious.
You just told someone to fuck off and how you can never be understood by someone so simple.
Well, the larger point is your own behavior. It was very Paul of you if I do say so myself. P.S. He liked lots of dance music.
Amen, baby..
It's all about the music that makes you soar high above the dark clouds that shroud your valley..
The music that takes you back to when you were a young buck in TX (who had yet to know what he was capable of..)
The music that takes you back to when you finally moved out to the goddamned crazy west coast..
FUCK that dipshit for grabbing your ipod and criticizing your music!!
Fucking hetero douchebag's favorite bands are probably something faggoty like Coldplay or Creed..
It's all about mixing a couple of drinks and listening to 'Fool For Love' by Sandy Rogers..
(which, by the way, just came on my shuffle..)
I dunno.
I've pretty much given up on modern music at this point.
Unless you're Eric Clapton.
I couldn't name one artist of consequence these days. I find myself gravitating to the groups I grew up with -- Fleetwood Mac, Starship, Van Halen, Duran Duran, PSB, The Eagles, Eurythmics and so forth. Simon and Garfunkel. Carly Simon. Led Zepplin. Those are artists who are meaningful to me.
Forget Britney Spears. Who's Britney? I don't think I've ever heard a song of hers, and if I have, it probably went in one ear and out the other.
"..it took me eight long years to break that trigger and actually be able to listen to music again without feeling the irresistible urge to light up.
alcohol helped."
That was classic. I laughed out loud and almost squirted in my boxers.
You've got me as a fan.
Besitos
noblesavage: this wasn't really a post about my musical tastes; it was more a post about everbody's musical tastes.
and yeah, i overreacted--but you know i never defend my bad behavior here; i merely report it.
horny monkey: you've got it exactly right (and you always were a fool for love).
stash: totally with you--i can probably count on my left hand the songs that've come out in the last 10 or so years that move my needle even a little bit. the older i get, the further i retreat into the comfort of that music that got me off back in the day.
eddie: thanks--i'm glad somebody got that. and welcome; i'll be checkin in with you, too.
This is an extraordinarily written post. Music is amazing, and you are soooooooo right. WE LIKE WHAT WE LIKE and that's that.
I however, do take pride in liking pretty good stuff for the most part. I mean, THE BEATLES?! RIGHT??!! RIGHT??!!! HAHA!
wat: thanks for that--and yeah, the beatles ;)
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