a conversation with j

i'm talking with my young friend j last night and he says, "so i got some more pictures of the english boy--unfortunately, they're not flattering so i think i'm over him."

when i register a blank, he reminds me of his latest crush, some straight kid he'd met online during one of his endless "world of warcraft" game sessions (an obsession with which he wisely never bores me).

when i ask him how he managed to get his hands on pics of some guy half a world away who doesn't even know he's alive, he says, "it was easy. first i chatted him up a little--you know, all casual--found out where he likes to hang out. then i went over there and searched profiles until i found his girlfriend. her profile had a link to her blog, which is filled with her thoughts and bad poetry--all the typical 17-year-old-girl stuff. i read as much as i needed to, put her on my aim buddy list, created a new profile specifically for her and, next time she showed up online, switched to the new profile and im'd her, telling her that i had recently found her blog and how much i loved it.

"she was very flattered and, having read her deepest thoughts and thus knowing exactly which buttons to push, i had her eating outta my hand in about five minutes. after that, it was only a matter of time before i was able to work the subject around to her boyfriend, and the rest is history."

when i ask him how much time he'd devoted to this little enterprise, he says, "i dunno--three days maybe. why?"

three days. all this ingenuity and machiavellian machination just to get a few pictures of some guy he'd never meet. had i ever been that boy-crazy? and then i thought, of course i had--i just didn't have the tools at my disposal then that j does now.

when i ask him if he's talked to the girl since getting what he wanted from her, he says, "no, why should i? but the great thing is, from the backstory i gave her she thinks i have a very hectic life and travel a lot, so if i ever need anything else from her i can just drop back in and explain my absence with some story or other, and we'll be right back where we were."

when i ask him if he has any moral compunction about creating this fiction in order to manipulate some stranger into doing his bidding, he says, "you have to understand, this has become second nature to me. i mean, how do you think i build all these alliances and win over all these assholes i can't stand but whose support i really need in 'world of warcraft'? i read 'em like a book and then tell 'em what they want to hear--it's ridiculously easy and totally necessary."

and then i ask him if he understands--fuck any damage he might be doing to others--that if he keeps this up it's gonna bleed over into his real life and he's gonna lose the ability to know whether what he's feeling is real or not.

that stops him for a minute, and he says, "i think that's happening already. half the time i don't know whether i really like somebody or i'm just pretending to because they might be useful in the future."

god, i love the internet.