Friday, July 1, 2011

day 1: zen and the art of the chopped salad

.
enough with the current events--let's kick off the month with something truly important.



it seemed like a lot of money--$50 for a few crappy pieces o' plastic with metal teeth--but what can i say, i was desperate.

having tried everything else, including this monstrosity,


great if you need to make coleslaw for the russian army--but otherwise, fahgettaboudit

i'd pretty much given up on my quest to produce the perfect restaurant-quality chopped salad for my quotidian consumption, until somebody turned me onto the borner v.

a mandoline--seriously?  another one of those cheap plastic pieces o' crap?

"seriously," she said. "this one's different.  but make sure you also order the kevlar gloves, because the holder that comes with the thing is useless--otherwise you're gonna shred your fingers."

and damned if the bitch wasn't right on both counts--you gotta get you one of these things.



[btw:  the true zen of the chopped salad is that there is no art to it--this is truly the sausage of vegetarian dishes.  trust me, push whatever you've got left over in the vegetable bin through the borner v, and it's instant magic.


today's masterpiece:
a base of equal parts shredded iceberg and romaine lettuce
half a cucumber
one roma tomato
a quarter medium red onion
two stalks celery
one medium carrot
four radishes
half a jonathan apple
a few crumbles of bleu cheese
some chopped-up salami
half a can of garbanzo beans




i'd give you the recipe for the dressing i whipped up to go along with it, but i'm holding that back in case i run short of posts before the month runs out.  you understand, right?]

3 comments:

Will said...

I've had what looks to be a close variation of that for several years and have always had good results. And all my skin!

noblesavage said...

Your conversion to vegetarian eating still mystifies me...I mean, you are from East Texas after all...

And you drive a Prius...

So, why aren't you wearing Birkenstocks and voting for Obama as the most liberal candidate that can get elected?

I mean, you are also essentially a libertarian. I don't get it...kinda sorta goes together I suppose.

But I join with you and say you are right about the slicer 'cause I have used it and it does the job. But since I hate cucumbers (but love pickles), it does not get too much use. When I do eat salad, I prefer big pieces of lettuce...So I kinda don't understand why you are so big on the shredding of everything. Perhaps you can explain.

mkf said...

will: then you're a better man than me--if not for the kevlar gloves, i'd have shredded most of my fingers by now.

noblesavage: what is it with you and your compulsive attempts to to pigeonhole and stereotype me into some predictable little box that you can be comfortable with? it's very un-liberal, that's all i'm sayin.

having said that, i'm not a vegetarian--i still eat a fair amount of meat. and i like my salads chopped--what can i say?