Friday, December 23, 2011

can we just cut to the chase already?

.
to the red team:

it's gonna be mitt.  it was always gonna be mitt, because that's who the money wants; the others were merely a collective sideshow whose individual stars were programmed to rise and fall in rapid succession leading up to iowa and new hampshire.  ron paul's stubborn refusal to go quietly wasn't part of the plan, but he'll be dispatched quickly enough--in fact, his assassination is already well underway.

so, face it--you're stuck with a loser, whether you want him or not.


to the blue team:

unlike the red team, you're blessed with a candidate who inspires fierce passion among the rank and file of your party, and who wins regardless of what the match-up turns out to be.

problem is, she's not about to challenge an incumbent who's willing to hold your party hostage with his automatic lock on 90% of the black vote regardless of how spectacularly unfit for office he's proven himself to be.

so, face it--you're stuck with a loser, whether you want him or not.


to america:

either way, guess what?  you lose.
.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

for those of you who still don't get it


i know they'll probably unveil an all-new model in june, but i don't care--i had to have me one of these while they still exist.

why would i buy a product so late in its life cycle when there are faster, cheaper competitors available, you might ask?

simple:  because, to my mind--i.e., that of an overly-picky depressive who finds fault with everything--the iphone 4/4s comes as close to perfection as any mass-produced object ever made, at any price.

the conventional wisdom among american manufacturers has always been that, in order to achieve mass acceptance, it's necessary to dumb brilliance down--because either the idea itself or the attendant cost to bring it to fruition is more than the masses can bear [you want proof, just look at the difference between any concept car by any company and the lame-ass model that ends up in production].

this, to me, is the true genius of steve jobs:  he made brilliance not only acceptable to the masses, but something they'd be willing to trample each other to pay double for.

so screw all you naysayers who dismiss apple products as nothing more than the darlings of the trendy, vapid and pretentious--because if that weren't so, they wouldn't be accessible to

me.

Monday, December 19, 2011

i'll blame this one on george harrison and cheap vodka tomorrow

.


autumn 1993 [or thereabouts--noblesavage will know]

he'd summoned his courage, sneaked outta the compound and travelled to weho from venice by bus.  he knew it was against the teachings, but could deny the urge no longer.

it wasn't just the shabby clothes and weird hair that set him apart on the boulevard that night--it was the sweet, guileless smile that grew even wider when our eyes met that caused me to drop the twink i was talking to like a bad habit and head in his direction.

and so we met.

after that first night, he'd steal away after evening prayers whenever he could and come see me, usually bearing fruit or flowers from the altar.  we'd talk into the night--he loved his life and his deities, and it showed in that smile.

it was a slow seduction.  i didn't push; i knew i'd have to be careful with this one.

finally--i think it was a sunday night--

it had to have been sunday because that was their high holy day, and i remember he hung the garland he'd stolen from the statue of krishna around my neck, gave me a long kiss and used it to drag me to the bedroom
i introduced him to the garden of earthly delights.  and with each new discovery, his eyes and that smile grew wider, until his joy knew no bounds.

couple nights later, there was a knock at the door.  i answered and there he was, arms laden with treasure, eyes dancing with delight at catching me by surprise.  until he looked past me and saw the boy on the couch.

that night, i watched his smile die.

because i killed it.