Saturday, August 2, 2008

one for my baby

.
so the other night v and i are tivoing through a week's worth of final jeopardies, and the following question comes up:

In 1906 he launched Conjurer's Monthly,
a magazine that he pretty much wrote & edited himself

we look at each other in mild surprise because they're usually tougher than this--i mean, is there more than one early-twentieth-century magician you can come up with?--but it makes me turn to v and ask, "have i ever told you my favorite limerick?"

turns out i haven't, so i do--which then leads to my next-favorite. he says, "you gotta blog these," so, for v--and for you--i present the following (runner-up first):

there was a young man from degrasse
whose balls were made out of brass
when he clanged them together, they played 'stormy weather'
and lightning shot out of his ass

and now, the best limerick i have ever heard:

there once was a teacher named sweeney
whose girl was a terrible meany
the hatch on her snatch had a catch with a latch
she could only be screwed by houdini

some days it's drunken ranting, other days it's architectural digest, today it's limericks, tomorrow--who knows? because i sure as hell don't.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I want to play (my 11th grade English teacher taught me this one when we were in the library one day):

There was an old hermit named Dave
who kept a dead whore in his cave
He said "I admit I'm a bit of a shit
but look at the money I save"!


greatest. limerick. ever.

I love that you Tivo Jeopardy and watch it later. That's just too awesome for words, babe.

LMB said...

I once had a blog entry, so clever,
But now I’m at the end of my tether.
Because it’s turned crass
And a pain in the ass
So now I’m locking it forever.

Anonymous said...

Gotta say, this was funnier your morbid self-loathing stuff...but I love that too...or should I say:

There once was a blog full of gutter;
It had no direction lacking a rudder;
Until I came in, and critiqued it for sin;
And now it is just sweet as butter.

Actually, it is still all over the place, but that did not rhyme as well.

Love ya.

P.S. Judi, love that you always have something intelligent to say.

mkf said...

judi: i will never forget the day in 1980--first year, second semester of architecture school--when my design professor, owen cappelman, stood before our class of (mostly) naive freshmen in goldsmith hall on the university of texas at austin campus and recited the very limerick of which you are so fond. and it was my favorite, too--until the 'houdini' one came along.

oh, and we don't watch the whole show--just the final question.

luis: damn, i'm impressed--an original limerick with one hand (in a cast) tied behind your back.

noblesavage: marvelous fucking limerick, old man--except i'd suggest as a second line, "it sorely was lacking a rudder."

[and the really interesting thing about this comment? it's that the whole thing--to all three of 'em--was knocked out in less than a minute (which particular statistic doesn't even come into context until you read my next post]

Anonymous said...

:::blushing:::

thanks, Savage.

Mikey: This is precisely why we get along. Same taste in lyrics (yeah, and probably in men. That would put me in the pathetic category for 1,000, Alex).